because i just watched Letters to Juliet

call me cheesy but i love watching chick flicks for the reason that they make me feel good and yes, i'm a hopeless romantic. considering my neutral personality, i am not totally the romantic type though. in fact, i am more of a realist which right now is likely similar to the ironic character of Charlie from Letters to Juliet. aye! i just finished watching this film and contrary to the very juvenile vibe of playing Taylor Swift's Love Story towards the end, i've come to ponder on a number of things while the movie got to take me(obviously just visually) to the beautiful Italian countryside. i'll be writing them in bullets because i don't think they're really coherent.

destiny. the movie's about love and destiny. very much a cliche i know, but like what i said before, it's just something that we don't get tired of tackling about. during my teenage years, i was a firm believer of destiny, that everything happens for a reason. i was such an idealist but like any other thing, that started to wear out as i got older. i began to believe that some things just happen and we just have to deal with them, that we just have to keep moving on without asking "why" so much. quite cynic, which is why i need icebreakers, like this film, every now and then to feel like i'm a teenager again(i feel like i've grown so old saying this). it's like when things get too real to the point that they become a burden, we just want to escape and rekindle that innocent zeal. so although it's tainted, my belief of destiny never really got away from me. i'm just keeping it right there while i'm busy fighting my battles in the real world.

best experience. Sophie mentioned that their search for Claire's true love, Lorenzo, was the best experience she ever had. it's funny that such happened in a foreign land as it was the same with mine. seeing them driving through the Italian countryside was very nostalgic of my 2005 experience in Illinois. it was a  jam-packed month of  eye-opening encounters that, in a huge way, molded me to what i am now. it was my first(and only, as of yet) trip out of the country and right now, i can still feel that excitement to see and really be there at the other side of the globe. it made me realize that i have this massive passion to travel which i want to take to the next level now-- to pursue more international trips.

loss. i also got to relate when the characters were dealing with their loved ones' loss, though mine doesn't involve death nor abandonment. maybe close to abandonment-- that thing when someone's physically there but you can't feel their presence. i don't have a sob childhood story but i have a complaint with how my  parents raised me. they allowed me to grow with so much independence, even from them. too much of something is just bad enough and it caused me all the inhibitions i so want to let go of but i don't know how to. as much as i want to connect to people around me, i'm just having a hard time doing so. and all this time, i've been quite scared for myself because if i stumble, i don't know if there's someone who'd help me get back up.

feeling good. this movie felt like a vacation, a very short one. aside from the fact that most scenes were taken from the gorgeous cities of Verona and Siena, it has a light plot. this is one of the movies that are full of optimism and, though quite unreal, don't fail to drive some inspiration for anybody. like Sophie, more than searching for facts, i'm looking for my life's meaning and to be reminded about it by this film inspires me to do and feel good. it takes me back to the most basic thing we should do about dealing with others-- being kind.

before i march

few hours from now, i'll head to the CAP auditorium and fulfill a dream. we all have different dreams at certain points in our lives and for the past eight years, this is what i've really been dreaming of. and i just want to say i'm quite proud of this one because no matter how many times my attempts failed, i never gave up. i just want to thank everyone who prayed with me for this... and to You, big big thanks!

becoming a fan of Alexandra Burke

because i'm glued to American Idol this year, i got myself into youtube-ing talent shows again and that led me to learn about the The X Factor 2008 winner Alexandra Burke who just literally blew me away with her performances that year.

i can really say she is the best product of any talent competition on tv. she's got the voice, the look, and a massive stage presence. her stage presence is the one that i like most about her. on her weekly performances during the show, she always did an amazing job and it's so admirable because she made it look like she's been doing it for ages.

in this clip, Simon commented, "This wasn't just a great performance within a talent competition. This was a great performance for a star."

the me in Oriental Mindoro

i'm not vain. well, i'm no longer that vain. but i missed it somehow. chos. so this would be an all-me post. i didn't expect that i'd enjoy Puerto Galera but it turned out to be fun because i got myself some good shots. pictures lang ang sukatan? haha.

like this is my haven
at Tukuran Falls-- i was amazed by the rocks.

pain, pain go away

the other day when i was opening a can of pineapple slices, i accidentally cut my left thumb. it was panic attack right then. my first move was to suck it because i didn't want to see the blood and the wound. easily recognizing the taste of blood, i knew i was bleeding a lot(now i'm sounding like a female).

aside from trembling with the sight of blood, i have little tolerance for pain, be it physical or not. because of that, i am very cautious and careful with almost everything just so i can rid myself of the dangers of experiencing pain. yes, i play safe, especially when it comes to things that i want bigtime because i know that they would hurt me bigtime, as well, if i don't win them.

but... as much as i want to be free of pain, i guess i've also always wanted to be as human as i can be. pain makes life hard but it makes it real.

Heart Evangelista is one of the celebrities i follow on Twitter. i'm not really an avid fan but she's one of whom i consider my favorite people because despite her being a public figure, you can see in her the vulnerability and sensitivity of an ordinary human being. in one of her tweets, she said something similar to this: for all the pain that i've gone through, God could've just made me 5'9 tall. this struck me as it just really goes to show that even people in glam and fame also hurt like everybody else does. nobody's excused. i don't know her whole story but  she's like an inspiration to me. seeing her on tv looking so well and beautiful, it's as if she's lying that she's been through many rough times. she may get hurt too much but she's so good with moving on, looking really like a learned woman in the end.

just like her, there's been too much pain in my life also. if you've grown up with such pain, you can't help but learn to build fences to guard yourself. right now, my fences are very strong and somehow i'm not liking it because i've been missing so much of what's outside. being inside my fortress all the time is not something that i'm feeling so good about. i also want to be out in the open, chasing and maybe fighting for some things that i've been wanting for so long. i just hope that i can really learn how not to be afraid of getting hurt because i know that's what's going to make me really explore what life's about.

and i just realized, the "fences" is so Desperado-inspired. in fact, this whole post is. well yeah, there's no denying that it's one of my life's theme songs. here's Carrie Underwood's very good rendition of the classic:

ten amusing things about Sagada

having been able to stay in a regular Sagadan home, i got to immerse myself quite a bit in their lifestyle there. because of that, aside from the tourist spots which undeniably were amazing, there were a number of things about Sagada's people and its way of life(the contemporary one) that i found very amusing. here they are.

1. happy children - in the residential house that we stayed in, there's a little girl named Shantal (i'm disgusted i didn't have a photo of her taken). she was always smiling even with her front teeth missing. her giggle was very infectious i can't help but smile every time i heard it and she'd talk to her mom with so much energy. i guess this is what you get when you rear your child in a simple yet ample environment. Sagada is rural but it's definitely not poor. in fact, i felt like every family had the same economic status with the others, and i find that really great because every one feels they belong and children would grow without insecurities in that kind of setup. hence, not just Shantal, but the other kids as well were cheerful and their laughter is one of the few loud sounds you'd hear there.

hike all you can - making the most out of Sagada

i owe it to my legs having survived my Sagada trip. the normal tours already have a lot of legwork required but we(with my colleagues Jon and Nicole) went beyond that and tired ourselves with walking distances that we could have traveled easily with a vehicle.